A by-the-book Captain is ordered to capture a strategic village in Italy. The Italian soldiers are willing to surrender, if they can have a festival first. The lieutenant convinces the Captain this is the only way. Because of aerial reconnaissance, they must look like they are fighting. To sort this out an intelligence officer is sent in. Meanwhile the festival gets complicated with the Mayors daughter.

Joe Clay is a top-notch public relations man. Anything a client wants Joe can arrange for them, whether it be dancing girls or an article in a prominent magazine. Part of the job however is drinking and Joe's ability to consume alcohol seems boundless. When he meets the very pretty Kirsten Arnasen, she prefers chocolate to alcohol but Joe has a solution to that in the form of a Brandy Alexander (made up of brandy and creme de cocoa). They eventually marry but their love is insufficient to prevent them from the downward spiral that alcohol brings to them. They try desperately to break the habit but continually relapse until only one of them manages to break free.

As a child, Princess Dala is given, by her father, the largest diamond in the world, in which if you stare into it can be seen a "Pink Panther" hence the name. However, now as a young woman, rebels in her home country have seized power and are demanding the return of the jewel. Dala relaxes on holiday in an exclusive skiing resort but noted British playboy, Sir Charles Lytton is in town. He is secretly "The Phantom" - infamous jewel thief who has eyes on the Pink Panther. Charles's playboy nephew George follows to the resort in an attempt to steal it and blame it on "The Phantom", not knowing that it's his uncle. On the Phantom's trail is Inspector Jacques Clouseau, from France, and his wife who, unknowingly to Jacques, is the lover of Charles and helper in the Phantom's crime. Jacques tries to stop the attempts but he is so clueless that when several attempts are made at a fantasy-dress party...

Inspector Clouseau disappears, and the Surete wants the world's second best detective to look for him. However, Clouseau's enemy, Dreyfus, rigs the Surete's computer to select, instead, the world's WORST detective, NYPD Sgt. Clifton Sleigh. Sleigh obtusely bungles his way past assassins and corrupt officials as though he were Clouseau's American cousin.

On the night of his 42nd birthday, George Webber, a popular songwriter, begins showing symptoms of "middle-age crisis." Over the succeeding weeks, he finds himself continually staring at young girls on the street, and he begins envying his high-living neighbor, whose life is one endless orgy. George's behavior causes great concern to his lover, singing star Samantha Taylor, and to his partner Hugh, who has seemingly avoided George's dilemma by being gay. While driving home one afternoon, George spots Jenny, a stunning young beauty en route to her marriage ceremony. Regarding her as "the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" (on a scale from one to 10), George follows her to the church. He later learns her name, and discovers that she and her husband are honeymooning in Mexico. Driven by the impulse to see her again, George flies to Mexico and checks into the hotel where Jenny is staying...

Professional daredevil and white-suited hero, The Great Leslie, convinces turn-of-the-century auto makers that a race from New York to Paris (westward across America, the Bering Straight and Russia) will help to promote automobile sales. Leslie's arch-rival, the mustached and black-attired Professor Fate vows to beat Leslie to the finish line in a car of Fate's own invention. The Blake Edwards style of slapstick and song originated with this movie. A dedication to Laurel and Hardy appears at the beginning of the film. Edwards' tribute to Stan and Ollie can be seen most clearly in the interaction between Professor Fate and his cohort Max, as well as in the operatic Pottsdorf pie fight.

When rich M. Ballon's spanish driver is found shot dead, Inspector Jacques Clouseau is the first official on the scene. All evidence suggests Maria Gambrelli, the maid, to be the murderer. But Clouseau, being attracted to the beautiful girl, is convinced that she is hiding something. So, he has her released from jail and tries to follow her secretly. Things do not work out the way the inspector wanted and people keep being murdered, and each time innocent Maria seems to be the killer. But with someone important wanting Clouseau and nobody else to cover this case, his tolerance-challenged boss Charles Dreyfuss is close to losing his mind when casualties keep turning up. And Clouseau keeps on causing trouble without knowing it...

A submarine newly commissioned is damaged in the opening days of WW II. A captain, looking for a command insists he can get it to a dockyard and captain it. Going slowly to this site, they find a stranded group of Army nurses and must take them aboard. How bad can it get? Trying to get a primer coat on the sub, they have to mix white and red in order to have enough. When forced to flee the dock during an air attack, they find themselves with the world's only Pink submarine, still with 5 women in the tight quarters of a submarine.